Today I once again realized that I do not know my God AT ALL, in a good way.
I have tasted and seen how wonderful and exciting He is yet I have yet to taste and see
His glorious and richness of love. It starts by recognizing that I don't get it ;)
More and more I am understanding that ALL things comes from God and I never create
ANYTHING good. Genuinely good stuff God puts in my heart, all that I got to do is partner with Him.
As I understand how much of nothing I am, I can know how everything God is
but funny thing is the more I know how everything God is I don't feel like I am nothing but I feel like I am part of everything because God who is everything gave His everything for me. That is just crazy.
He totally has every right to own me and use me and do whatever He wants with me BUT He chooses to wait for His beloved for them to choose Him and say "I choose You, I love You", although there is no other way but Him...its hard to comprehend, doesn't make sense in my mind but my spirit agrees in my heart that this is true and this is what I should devote all my heart, time, effort, money, LIFE into.
Being a missionary in Japan is straight up privilege. It is joyful thing :)
I hear people say this nation is hard, missionary graveyard, it is so tough...well saying all of that will certainly not advance the kingdom does it? hehe
God created this nation, He created every single Japanese and He chose me to be a witness of Jesus to the people here. Are there battles? YES but it is so worth fighting for. My God is totally worth the battle and to me my home, the people here in Japan are worth fighting for.
This nation is for sure redeemable, restorable, and rebuildable cause its in the hand of God.
There is nothing He cannot do for this nation, He can save every single Japanese people in a second if He wants to but He chooses people like me and others to move through because He loves partnership. He is always, all the time about relationship. Always, always always wanting to do it together with us.
Today I thank God that He trust my heart for Japan and the Japanese people here.
In spite of my weakness, although He sees every mistake and disobedience, He again and again use me to make His name known because He is committed to Japan more than I am and He is committed to my life more than I am. Lord I thank You for Your humility and patient towards me that You will receive my broken love and broken prayer and still receives it with joy and gladness. Break me deeper and mold me into more like You Jesus. Let everything be a glory and praise to You.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Winter has come
God has been blessing me with so many things including this spiritual season of winter where everything seems cold, dark and lonely.
He is challenging me and going deeper in my heart where it is not aligned with who God is and who I am suppose to be. Being more in the image of our fullness takes some breaking and molding to do which can be painful and awful. Experiencing defeat and just challenge and pain. BUT just so grateful at the same time for this season because I know that winter isn't going to last forever. I am not waiting till it passes I know it is a journey God wants to take me to build my faith, going deeper with Him and just experiencing His power and justice. His unfailing loving kindness and grace that I just got to receive with humility.
The fact that my journey came to a point where I allow God to bring season of winter in my life I am thankful to know that my relationship with God is going deeper and deeper each day.
I feel so out of control but God is so sweet and good I know this by fact and just by living my life with Him so now even if I don't see, feel, hear anything from Him I know by faith that He is faithful and just, good and right. Its so much more deeper that I can go with Him...I want to go there, deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper with Him.
Good news is its okay to cry when you are in pain that I don't have to pretend like I am all joyful jumping up and down like I always do haha. My mom told me to just always say "but I walk in faith" and even in those winter times stars shine and skies are beautiful and it is true. And one day He will once again come and next time He will take me into a new journey. Until then I must receive this journey and season with joy and thanksgiving. Being obedient and patient. Receiving His mercy and grace every morning. Giving praise and adoration day and night to my God, my King, my friend, my love.
Until He says
"Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away,
for behold, the winter is past the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one and come away.
O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face, let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely" (Song of Solomon 2:10 - 14)
Then I shall be even more ready to go wherever He wants me to go and be whoever He has called me to be.
All I am His and He is mine.
He is challenging me and going deeper in my heart where it is not aligned with who God is and who I am suppose to be. Being more in the image of our fullness takes some breaking and molding to do which can be painful and awful. Experiencing defeat and just challenge and pain. BUT just so grateful at the same time for this season because I know that winter isn't going to last forever. I am not waiting till it passes I know it is a journey God wants to take me to build my faith, going deeper with Him and just experiencing His power and justice. His unfailing loving kindness and grace that I just got to receive with humility.
The fact that my journey came to a point where I allow God to bring season of winter in my life I am thankful to know that my relationship with God is going deeper and deeper each day.
I feel so out of control but God is so sweet and good I know this by fact and just by living my life with Him so now even if I don't see, feel, hear anything from Him I know by faith that He is faithful and just, good and right. Its so much more deeper that I can go with Him...I want to go there, deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper with Him.
Good news is its okay to cry when you are in pain that I don't have to pretend like I am all joyful jumping up and down like I always do haha. My mom told me to just always say "but I walk in faith" and even in those winter times stars shine and skies are beautiful and it is true. And one day He will once again come and next time He will take me into a new journey. Until then I must receive this journey and season with joy and thanksgiving. Being obedient and patient. Receiving His mercy and grace every morning. Giving praise and adoration day and night to my God, my King, my friend, my love.
Until He says
"Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away,
for behold, the winter is past the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my beautiful one and come away.
O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face, let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely" (Song of Solomon 2:10 - 14)
Then I shall be even more ready to go wherever He wants me to go and be whoever He has called me to be.
All I am His and He is mine.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday
I went to church on sunday and it is amazing what had taken place :)
I attended the service and I led worship with the band and fellowship afterwards and I was about to go home and one of the members of the church hands over me this guy to me and tells him "oh she can pray healing for you" I was shocked. I mean I have been going to this church for 7 years or so and they've supported me to go to YWAM DTS and when I came back I shared stories after stories about God's miracles and His power but it wasn't really clicking to them because it is not what we see here in Japan regularly on sundays. I remember God clearly telling me to go under them and serve. Times and times again when I humbled myself and served God has given me opportunities to share and minister to people. It is so good. They now know me and trust me and them allowing me to pray for healing for this guy just made my day. The pain left him too by the way so double plus!
Writing this just reminds me of the scriptures that talks about God blessing those who are humble and contrite. I must learn that more. Jesus served people. Our GOd is humble..so if I'm not..ummm something is wrong.
In the afternoon I was able to catch up with my cousin who I adore and respect so much.
During this week's lecture the speaker talked on true fellowship, asking us do we have friends that we can say in love that they are not walking in freedom, truth and love that they are able to minister them right there and the bond goes deeper. When he was speaking that something in my heart sank cause I felt like I did not really have that kind of friends where I can say what they are doing wrong and they would trust me that I am saying in love and not in a prideful way and a friend that allows me to minister to their heart..it kind of grieved me for a bit but I know God has given me amazing friends who cares and loves me so I just need to risk it and when they are not walking in truth to confront them...that is true love.
Anyways so I was able to not really confront here but when deep to her wound and challenged her to expose it to and forgive those who have hurt her. At first I could tell she wasn't sure about it but then she says "where do I do that, now?" and so I was like " yea lets do it right now" so right there at subway (perfect) we just prayed and she was able to just pray forgiveness, she repented, she blessed those who hurt her, she rebuked every assignment of the enemies and asked holy spirit to minister to her.
It was AMAZING, So good cause I could totally tell the lightness of heart in her. She smiles and hugs me and what the speaker talked about this week hit me. "I have one!" haha. What a quick answer God gave me. "Lindsey you have it, I have given you people in your life but it is up to you how much you allow yourself to let them go deep into your heart and how much you allow your heart to love them"
I miss my friends who are all over the world. I pray for them. Now I should show it more visibly ;)
God you are good! Thank you for my Family and friends who are all over the world. Keep them safe and bless them bless them bless them. Massive anointing and let everything that they do be all for your glory!!
I attended the service and I led worship with the band and fellowship afterwards and I was about to go home and one of the members of the church hands over me this guy to me and tells him "oh she can pray healing for you" I was shocked. I mean I have been going to this church for 7 years or so and they've supported me to go to YWAM DTS and when I came back I shared stories after stories about God's miracles and His power but it wasn't really clicking to them because it is not what we see here in Japan regularly on sundays. I remember God clearly telling me to go under them and serve. Times and times again when I humbled myself and served God has given me opportunities to share and minister to people. It is so good. They now know me and trust me and them allowing me to pray for healing for this guy just made my day. The pain left him too by the way so double plus!
Writing this just reminds me of the scriptures that talks about God blessing those who are humble and contrite. I must learn that more. Jesus served people. Our GOd is humble..so if I'm not..ummm something is wrong.
In the afternoon I was able to catch up with my cousin who I adore and respect so much.
During this week's lecture the speaker talked on true fellowship, asking us do we have friends that we can say in love that they are not walking in freedom, truth and love that they are able to minister them right there and the bond goes deeper. When he was speaking that something in my heart sank cause I felt like I did not really have that kind of friends where I can say what they are doing wrong and they would trust me that I am saying in love and not in a prideful way and a friend that allows me to minister to their heart..it kind of grieved me for a bit but I know God has given me amazing friends who cares and loves me so I just need to risk it and when they are not walking in truth to confront them...that is true love.
Anyways so I was able to not really confront here but when deep to her wound and challenged her to expose it to and forgive those who have hurt her. At first I could tell she wasn't sure about it but then she says "where do I do that, now?" and so I was like " yea lets do it right now" so right there at subway (perfect) we just prayed and she was able to just pray forgiveness, she repented, she blessed those who hurt her, she rebuked every assignment of the enemies and asked holy spirit to minister to her.
It was AMAZING, So good cause I could totally tell the lightness of heart in her. She smiles and hugs me and what the speaker talked about this week hit me. "I have one!" haha. What a quick answer God gave me. "Lindsey you have it, I have given you people in your life but it is up to you how much you allow yourself to let them go deep into your heart and how much you allow your heart to love them"
I miss my friends who are all over the world. I pray for them. Now I should show it more visibly ;)
God you are good! Thank you for my Family and friends who are all over the world. Keep them safe and bless them bless them bless them. Massive anointing and let everything that they do be all for your glory!!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Conference
今日は川口で行われているカンフレンスにいってきました。
悪霊から解放される人から車いすにいる人がたつまですごいカンフレンスで、私はその青年、社会人バージョンにいったんだけど、そこでは癒し、奇跡というよりクリスチャンがつながりあってなによりイエスともっと深くつながってこの日本のリバイバルのために祈るものでした。楽しかった！何よりも日本の若者が声をあげイエスにむかって賛美を捧げてる姿勢、熱く神様を求めてる姿をみてすごく心強かった。１人じゃないんだなって、リバイバルはほんとにおきるんだなって。自然に涙がでた。
Today I went to KAWAGUCHI to go to this conference where this guy from Tanzania spoke on miracles, signs and wonders. He has raised people from the dead and he himself was healed from being paralyzed for six years. In this conference there were demons being cast out to ladies from wheelchair and being healed! The one that I went was for youth and workers. Miracles weren't the focus for that one it was more body of Christ fellowshipping together more and to know that we are connected all over the world. For me Just seeing Japanese youth passionately seeking revival and pursuing Jesus made me really happy. I cried realizing that I am not fighting on my own but there are people in this nation that are seeking and praying for revival for this nation, I mean I knew that but seeing that was powerful and it gave me strength. God in His timing will come and revive this nation but it starts with me.
I want to be awaken, revived, renewed.
Thank You Jesus that You are coming and it is Your deepest desire to come back to Your brides.
Lord get us ready for it that You can come back anytime and we are able to say we were faithful to You, committed to You, Loved You with all my Heart/Soul/Strength. With every part of my being, every single day of my life.
悪霊から解放される人から車いすにいる人がたつまですごいカンフレンスで、私はその青年、社会人バージョンにいったんだけど、そこでは癒し、奇跡というよりクリスチャンがつながりあってなによりイエスともっと深くつながってこの日本のリバイバルのために祈るものでした。楽しかった！何よりも日本の若者が声をあげイエスにむかって賛美を捧げてる姿勢、熱く神様を求めてる姿をみてすごく心強かった。１人じゃないんだなって、リバイバルはほんとにおきるんだなって。自然に涙がでた。
Today I went to KAWAGUCHI to go to this conference where this guy from Tanzania spoke on miracles, signs and wonders. He has raised people from the dead and he himself was healed from being paralyzed for six years. In this conference there were demons being cast out to ladies from wheelchair and being healed! The one that I went was for youth and workers. Miracles weren't the focus for that one it was more body of Christ fellowshipping together more and to know that we are connected all over the world. For me Just seeing Japanese youth passionately seeking revival and pursuing Jesus made me really happy. I cried realizing that I am not fighting on my own but there are people in this nation that are seeking and praying for revival for this nation, I mean I knew that but seeing that was powerful and it gave me strength. God in His timing will come and revive this nation but it starts with me.
I want to be awaken, revived, renewed.
Thank You Jesus that You are coming and it is Your deepest desire to come back to Your brides.
Lord get us ready for it that You can come back anytime and we are able to say we were faithful to You, committed to You, Loved You with all my Heart/Soul/Strength. With every part of my being, every single day of my life.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I am the God's bridge for this World
I love Jesus THAT is the truth.
But am I to the point where I die to my flesh, I die to my emotion, I die to all my rights and wills.
Am I really taking up the cross and following Him? Am I denying my self?
No, I am so caught up in my emotion, so caught up in self, so caught up in pride.
I still care about myself even in my spirituality, it is still about me and not Him. I hate that.
I've got to stop blaming the media, blaming government and this world.
Cause I've got the truth in me, I've got Christ living inside of us.
And He longs to manifest through me, He longs to touch other lives through me.
Yet My pride gets in the way, my "rights" gets in the way, this flesh, my soul, will, emotion gets in the way. My spirit yearns for manifestation of Christ yet my flesh is so weak to let that happen through me.
" Now therefore, if I have found favor in your sight, please show me now your ways, that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight. Consider too that this nation is your people " Exodus 33:13
The beauty of it all is that I cannot grow on my own, He takes me there. He makes me what He wants me to be. I just got to partner with that, partner with His vision, partner with Him in my life.
I will choose to partner with Him today.
But am I to the point where I die to my flesh, I die to my emotion, I die to all my rights and wills.
Am I really taking up the cross and following Him? Am I denying my self?
No, I am so caught up in my emotion, so caught up in self, so caught up in pride.
I still care about myself even in my spirituality, it is still about me and not Him. I hate that.
I've got to stop blaming the media, blaming government and this world.
Cause I've got the truth in me, I've got Christ living inside of us.
And He longs to manifest through me, He longs to touch other lives through me.
Yet My pride gets in the way, my "rights" gets in the way, this flesh, my soul, will, emotion gets in the way. My spirit yearns for manifestation of Christ yet my flesh is so weak to let that happen through me.
" Now therefore, if I have found favor in your sight, please show me now your ways, that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight. Consider too that this nation is your people " Exodus 33:13
The beauty of it all is that I cannot grow on my own, He takes me there. He makes me what He wants me to be. I just got to partner with that, partner with His vision, partner with Him in my life.
I will choose to partner with Him today.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Blog Begins
I started a blog....I have no idea how long I will be able to keep up with it.
I hope you all enjoy it and just taste and see how my God is so good in my life.
Please keep on praying for me and Japan. I will keep you guys updated as much as possible.
ブログをはじめました。。。どれだけ出来るか分からないけど。
このブログを通して私の信じる神様がどれだけ私の人生を祝福してるかを
みんながかんじることができればうれしいです！
引き続き私のためそして日本とためにお祈りお願いします。
I hope you all enjoy it and just taste and see how my God is so good in my life.
Please keep on praying for me and Japan. I will keep you guys updated as much as possible.
ブログをはじめました。。。どれだけ出来るか分からないけど。
このブログを通して私の信じる神様がどれだけ私の人生を祝福してるかを
みんながかんじることができればうれしいです！
引き続き私のためそして日本とためにお祈りお願いします。
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